MILLA VAN DER HAVE: self-portrait as severed heart

i dreamt of snow

perhaps the world was only white so we could walk with bare feet and all
in search of pilgrimage · in search of a doe with the moon on her chest · in search
of the daughter no one remembers

you think anyone escapes their childhood · that dark passage · small tea and cakes
spelling a counterfeit zodiac of hound and hurried steps into yet another fall from grace

i dreamt i was seeing white

for the first time · i was standing in the middle of a wet day wearing my rain like a cape and the
world was white · whiter than it should be on a horned afternoon · what are you looking for : a
treasure she said · what are you looking for : a threshold i said · to give into the dream she said
with weighed hand and the antlers on your head are only what stars were to late great men

and they are sure to guide you

i dreamt the world was blank and unforgiven like a girl
and i was a girl and i had spoken for the last time before i was caught in the net of me
and i ran like a deer runs before it runs · as it springs · this

meticulous betrayal of air in lungs